From the Training:
Certified Safe & Loved Practitioner

You’re watching an action movie.

Two people are throwing each other through walls. Buildings are exploding.
There’s conflict everywhere…and yet you’re bored. 

Now think about a scary movie. 

A person is home alone and hears the floor creak upstairs. 

They freeze. 

They do nothing. There’s no physical conflict at all.
But you’re scared to death. 

Why? 

Uncertainty. 

You don’t know what’s upstairs. 

You don’t know what’s going to happen so your mind starts to think of every terrible thing that could happen and soon you’re filled with fear, anxiety, and paralysis. 

What does this have to do with school safety? 

Sometimes a drill is uncomfortable.
Training can be uncomfortable.
Telling someone they need to change is definitely uncomfortable. 

It can even make some afraid. 

That’s conflict. 

Not being prepared.
Not knowing what to do.
Being afraid you’re going to fail because you have no idea what you should do. 

That’s uncertainty. 

Uncertainty creates tension and tension robs you of peace. 

It wears you out. Makes you afraid, nervous, and reluctant to act.
It has the ability to take on a life of its own and to wear a hole in your soul. 

The conflict is over or maybe hasn’t even happened but you can’t stop worrying about it. 

Tension highjacks your fears so you created a series of potential scenarios in your head, all bad. Your quality of life is lessened because you can’t stop being afraid that one day it’s going to happen and you won’t be prepared. 

Believe it or not, we can live with conflict.
But tension eats us up. 

From my own experience, I’d say most schools are dealing far more with the destructive effects of tension rather than conflict. 

I’ve done lots of Safe & Loved assessments. I walk the halls, visit with teachers, and give them a chance to ask me anything they want. 

We never talk about conflicts.
Always uncertainty—tension.

What do I do if this happens?

I give them as much time as they need. We talk through every possible scenario until they know what to do and, just as importantly, believe they can handle it. 

I can’t take away their fear that something terrible might happen but I can take away the fear of not knowing what to do if it does. 

Last point.

What do you do if your school is stuck with tension?

Just imagine you’re in a scary movie but you have the ability to control the actors. What would you tell them to do?

In other words, you’d tell them do something right now that would make them safer by reducing uncertainty. 

The more you reduce uncertainly the less tension you will feel. 

We cannot promise that nothing bad will ever happen. 

But we can prepare those we love and lead well enough that they don’t have to spend their lives wondering what they would do if it did. 

Love your team. Train them. Give them the guidance they need to feel prepared. 

Great school safety doesn’t just make you safer; it also makes you feel safer.